When I was pregnant with Madelaine, and I had to get Ava to kindergarten, everything went pretty smoothly. I took 20 minutes to myself to get ready for the day, and then I prepared Ava’s breakfast and packed her lunch. We walked to school and always arrived 5-10 minutes early. Now that Madelaine is here, our mornings look a little different – take last Friday as an example. I woke up and fed the baby. Then I took a streamlined shower (less than 2 minutes), and threw my wet hair into a bun. (I had no time for makeup, but my clothes were clean.) I left Madelaine in her crib to nap…. I ran to the kitchen to make Ava an egg and to pack her lunch, and I stepped in a puddle of surprise cat vomit. Except I didn’t have time to look down so I thought that it was water…and I walked around the house with a wet foot for awhile before I realized. While Ava was leisurely eating breakfast (and I stood at the sink eating mine) I remembered that we had forgotten to buy groceries so I had to get creative with her lunch. Next I grabbed the coats, shoes, and bags, and speed walked to the foyer with everything piled up to my face because I didn’t have time for multiple trips. Once the stroller was loaded for the walk, it was time to get the baby ready. In record time I clothed and fed Madelaine (well a partial feed because I was running out of time) and plunked her into the stroller. I prayed that she would fall asleep and not cry for more milk. There was no time to tidy so I left the house a mess – I really can’t stand disorder but I had to let that go. We left with 10 minutes until first bell – the walk takes 15 minutes. Of course, as I passed through the front door I went through a spider web…Ava did a quick check for pieces of web on my face. We walked briskly to the school (baby did sleep), and I arrived feeling hot and slightly frazzled. I cuddled Madelaine as Ava unpacked her bag, and then I realized that I had fresh spit up on my shoulder. Who knows how long it had been there for? As I walked home with baby sleeping soundly in the stroller, I laughed to myself.

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Jenny Lutes started blogging in 2009 under the name Solo Mommy. A a year later she re-named the blog Ruminating Mommy as her situation had changed.

“I have always loved writing, and I hope that others can connect to what I have to say. My aim is to be open and honest, and perhaps witty from time to time.”

Read her blog Ruminating Mommy and follow her on Twitter – @RuminatingMommy

Approximately 10% of children 6-12 yrs have high anxiety; because it is often a “silent” problem, it is often undetected. Your knowledge of this condition is therefore important to your child. This article gives you a brief overview of what is anxiety, how it affects children, and brief suggestions on how to manage your concerns at home.

Anxiety is a physiological, cognitive, and emotional reaction to a perceived sense of danger or threat. Unlike fear which is a reaction to an actual current danger; anxiety is a perception, a reaction to something that is appearing to be a possible threat, often anticipated for the future.

How Anxiety Affects Your Child

Anxiety affects the body, the thoughts, the feelings, and the behaviors of children. It is an involuntary, overwhelming, and complex condition. In this first edition of our two-part article we will feature the impact on the body, the thoughts, and the feelings.  (Follow us for the next edition on common behaviors of anxiety)

Their Body

Anxiety in your child starts in the brain. Whenever the brain perceives a fearful situation, the amydalla triggers the production of the hormone adrenaline. This hormone prepares their bodies to react in a protective manner automatically. At the same time, the brain stem controls the automated bodily reactions. This means your child’s body reacts without any direction from the “logical” centers of their brain. (This is why trying to talk “sensibly” to a fearful child doesn’t work in the height of his feelings of dread). When your child becomes anxious their body automatically prepares for 1 of 3 primitive reactions: fight, flight, or freeze.

Fight- Their heart rate increases as it pumps more blood around the body. The adrenaline pumps around your child’s body giving him excess energy to fight.

Flight – The adrenaline increases the energy accessible to their muscles. Their muscles get tense in preparation to run quickly. The heart rate increases as it sends more blood and oxygen to the muscles. Blood and oxygen are redirected away from the brain; logical processes are reduced.

Freeze –The adrenaline in the body causes the muscles to tense. The amydalla has determined the most protective action is to not move or to react.

In addition to these basic primitive reactions to anxiety, children also develop a number of psycho-somatic conditions (“illnesses” caused by their feelings). Children with high levels of anxiety often complain about headaches, stomach-pains, nausea, and diarrhea.

Helping Their Body to Cope

1)   Deep Breathing- When children are anxious their breathes are quick, shallow, and enough oxygen does not get to the brain. (This means they can’t think clearly or calmly). Teach your child how to breathe deeply. It is a skill that has to be practiced everyday in order for them to become effective at relaxing. (Facebook Note: How to teach deep breathing).

2) Exercise- Provide your child opportunity to move, jump, run, etc., to utilize that excess adrenaline. Generally, studies show regular exercise reduces children’s vulnerability to feelings of anxiety and stress.

3) Diet- You may want to reduce any stimulants in your child’s diet that could heighten their reaction of anxiety – caffeine, sugar, and chemicals in processed foods. Keeping your child hydrated by drinking lots of water is also recommended. In addition, encourage your child to eat regularly, in smaller portions, and more slowly to reduce the occurrence of stomach-complaints.

Their Thoughts

Children with anxiety are prone to many different forms of negative thinking patterns, the two most common ones are:

1. Assuming that something bad is highly likely to happen
2. Assuming that the consequences of bad things that could happen will be catastrophic. They believe they will be unable to cope with the effects or events. This includes minimizing their personal strengths and previous successes.

Helping with their Thoughts

1)   You can help your child by asking them a series of questions about the reality of their thoughts/beliefs: “What is the worst thing that could happen if….?” “So what if … happened?” Explore with them- “what could you do if (a), (b), or (c) happened?” “How serious or long-lasting would the consequences of (a), (b) or (c) be to your life?”

2)   Encourage your child to speak positively to himself about his coping skills. Compose with your child positive statements that he may use in fearful situations that contradict the automatic negative thought he typically has about that situation. For example, instead of: “If I make a mistake on my presentation everyone will laugh at me” say “I am going to do well on my presentation, no one will laugh at me, and even if they did, I will just laugh it off too”.

Their Feelings

Children experience varying degrees of intense feelings of nervousness, fear, dread, worry, anger, embarrassment, frustration, confusion, and/or helplessness when the involuntary thoughts and physical reactions of anxiety overcome them. As a parent it is important to understand your child does not chose to be anxious or feel what he feels.

Helping with their Feelings.

1)   Develop Their Emotional Vocabulary – You can expand your child’s emotional vocabulary by describing the situation he is in and naming the feelings he may be experiencing. For example, “It’s Monday morning and you do not want to get ready for school. Maybe you are feeling nervous about your test today.” Accept his feelings when he does tell you how he feels; respond with a simple “hmm” or “you feel __ because ____” and avoid corrective statements like “there is nothing to be afraid of”.

2)   Model feelings/reactions of calmness to your child – While you want to acknowledge and recognize your child’s feeling of apprehension one should avoid indirectly reinforcing and justifying the anxiety and the avoidance of the feared situation. Try to remain calm and positive yourself.

Anxiety is a long-standing condition that can continue to affect a child over their lifetime. By informing yourself as a parent, you can help your child develop the skills and strengths to cope with this condition and grow to live a successful life. Secondly, recognizing if or when you and your child may need professional help or counselling to support your at home interventions is another important key. Fear is a limitation; don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Additional Reading Reference    

Children’s Storybooks:

The Goodnight Caterpiller

David and the Worry Beast

Additional Resources

AnxietyBC

Anxiety Disorders Association of America

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Tania Bryan is a child and family therapist at Help for Families Canada-Counseling and Consulting. She has extensive and diverse experience working with children, youth, and families for over 20 years in professional and voluntary sectors. Leading with a Masters of Arts in Counselling Psychology from Simon Fraser University, Tania also brings her qualifications of a Bachelor of Science in Social Work and a Teachers Certificate in Special Education to inform how she supports and advocates for children and families in her private practice as well as in the community.

Tania’s passion for helping children grew out of her awareness of her own yearnings to be accepted and understood as a child. Helping parents to relate with and support their child is a primary goal of her practice.

Photo From Facebook

So come on all you new and expecting parents, even those of you who have been at it for a while! This one of a kind show never disappoints and is always chalk full great displays, knowledgeable speakers, entertaining demonstrations, fantastic exhibitors and vendors and of course the goodies and prizes that are up for grabs are not to be passed over!

The Bellies to Babies Celebration®, is a one of a kind event, offering a unique opportunity for new and expectant parents and grandparents to explore and shop for trendy baby fashions, décor and so much more! Community resources and support services will be on hand to answer questions for new and expecting parents.

When: Saturday, May 5^th

Time: 6PM – Midnight

Where: The newly renovated Fraser Heights Rec Centre in Fraser Heights, Surrey

This is a large fundraising event that is co-organized by the 5 PAC’s of the local schools in Fraser Heights – Bothwell, Dogwood, Erma Stevenson, Fraser Wood Elementary and Fraser Heights Secondary.

All funds raised from this event is equally split between these schools via their respective PACs and over the first 3 years we have raised in excess of $35,000.00.

Fraser Heights Recreation Centre Grand Opening!

May 05, 2012

11AM – 2PM

Join us for live music, entertainment and refreshments and check out the new gym & fitness facility! Free family event!

Fraser Heights Recreation Centre
10588-160 Street

Dogwood Elementary’ s 1^st Annual Spring Shopping Night

Be sure to get there early to get your hands on a gift bags chalk full of goodies and samples from the vendors, they will be available to the first 150 moms through the door! PLUS they will be drawing door prize winners every half hour, with over $2000.00 worth of door prizes to give away the earlier you arrive the better your chances are to win! They also have 3 fantastic GRAND PRIZE Packages up for grabs from Little Dreamers Consulting, Luxe Beauty Lounge and Wee Piggies and Paws!

There is a long list of vendors and exhibitors who will be on-site to display their wares and services at this fantastic event. Admission is by donation to Vancouver’s own Canuck Place Children’s Hospice.

If you haven’t registered as a guest yet, go ahead and do it right now! Don’t forget to update your calendar, set a reminder on your smartphone and arrive early to be one of the first 150 moms through the doors!

It’s funny, with my first I was looking forward to work again. Conversations with full size humans, having to challenge my mind with the nuances of the job and generally getting out of the house solo. This time the desire is not there. My oldest is in kindergarten and I have made some wonderful friends of the other parents I see every morning. My house has become a playdate haven after school with at least one or two children following us on our walk home. I have happily chopped up no less than 5 lbs of apples, a box of oranges, 2 boxes of crackers, a jar of pickles and a brick of cheese as an after school ‘snack’ over the course of two weeks. (Good grief can kindergarteners pack away food!)

And now, sadly, this ends for me. I don’t have the luxury of staying home and keeping the bank at bay. I am envious of the parents that are able to have one parent home past the maternity leave and still afford to live in the Lower Mainland. So until BC Lotto pays off, I am back to work.

And here is where the reverse nesting mode comes in. Making sure the daycare is stocked with diapers, spare clothes, a favorite blanket and stuffie, and all forms completed. Check. I am purging anything I can out of the house to avoid (let’s be honest here… just reduce) the clutter. Diabetes, Kids Wish and Big Brothers have come to know my house well over the past month. I tried to make the most of this last week with my older son. Science world one day, then the library, bake cakes together the next. I have play dates lined up for everyday after school and have started making dinners in advance for the freezer. And of course the house must be cleaned stem to stern. When I was pregnant my husband came home to find be washing the bathroom ceiling with diluted bleach. Yesterday I was on hands and knees scrubbing baseboard moulding. There just seems to be too much that I feel has to be done before I can possibly leave my house for a full day. And throw in a first birthday party to the mix with in-laws in town and I am ready for a full blown hissy fit.

I have never been so envious of the stay-at-home mommies, and am secretly cursing the bra burners of the ’70′s. I know that our moms only had 6 weeks or so to bond and I am told I should count myself lucky that I have had a year. (And I do, really!) But is it so wrong to want more time?

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Contributor:

Sam is a busy mom of 2 boys sharing her mommy-isms.

@samorjj

If you’ve been following along with all of the fantastic updates on the Mommies N Munchkins facebook page you know that this is an event not to be missed! So many fabulous exhibitors will be on site to share their products and services with you and your family. PLUS enter for a chance to win the GRAND PRIZE! A stay for 2 nights for a family of four including some meals and activities at Harrison Hot Springs Resort & Spa!!! Show up to the fair and enter to win!!! If that isn’t enough incentive the first 60 “expecting moms” will receive a UC Baby bag FULL of awesome gifts thanks to their Surrey location. Be there early to get yours! Doors open at 10am.

Jenny started blogging in 2009 under the name Solo Mommy. A a year later she re-named the blog Ruminating Mommy as her situation had changed.She is now a mommy for the second time and is looking forward to sharing her mommy moments as she gets used to life with two small children.

Jenny has always loved writing, and hopes that others can connect to what she has to say. Her aim is to be open and honest, and perhaps witty from time to time.

We are very lucky to have Jenny on board and we are so looking forward to her first contribution!